Although this title suggests something that many people may not agree to but where does one draw a limit to bearing up toxic elements in a family? Yes family is family and family members unlike friends aren’t chosen. They are by default a group that you belong to once you are born. You can’t choose what type of brothers and sisters to have. You can’t really dictate which aunts and uncles will be part of your immediate family circle or who should not be invited to your home.
1Familiarity can breed contempt
There is some truth to the saying that familiarity breeds contempt. As long as you are a child, it doesn’t really matter but once you became a teen you may find you don’t exactly see eye to eye with some family members and that’s when tension starts. Arguments between parents, relatives and sometimes your siblings too can create disharmony in the family.
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2Psychologists provide the answers
The big question is what the limit is when one member spews venom at someone in the family or the other having to bear up the tension. When do you feel should be a point when you cut family ties with certain toxic members. Psychologists provide these answers based on studies showing you that in some circumstances, it’s okay to cut off family ties.
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3Signs will influence you to make a decision
Sherrie Campbell a psychologist from California and author of the book “Loving Yourself: The Mastery of Being Your Own Person” says that there are signs that will come your way that will influence your decision to cut off relations from certain family members or avoid them. So what are these signs?
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4The first signs
The first sign when a relationship becomes abusive is when a family member resorts to verbal abuse, insults, mental or physical abuse, sexual abuse and emotional abuse. These are primary signs that you would be much better off avoiding and staying away from such people regardless of them being a relative.
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Manipulation and domination is also a form of being used and abused. This too takes an emotional toll of a person. In such relationships, it is a continuous up and down of anxiety where you will never know how every moment of engagement will turn out. The person in question may be talking to you one moment and manipulating you the next. This is the first sign of making a decision that its time you looked out for yourself and let go.
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